I dreamt of you two days in a row now. I decided to let go of the first and not think about it but then you appeared again last night. Why do you often visit me in my dreams when I do not really wish you to?
The first night we were sitting side by side, our shoulders almost nudging together. other people we know were talking and laughing but their voices seemed too far for me to hear what they are talking about. I was too focused, too nervous, and too out of my head because you are here. you were wearing a dark grey sweatshirt, I can tell even when I am not looking your way. you were listening to what they are saying and I was just sitting there, sweating inside.
One of the people around, I could not recognize the face, asked me to hand over a tray which was in front of us. I obliged and looked back at the desk. why the hell are we here in my work station and how the hell did we fit in here? I looked around and there was no mistake. two chairs, one where you’re sitting at, and another for me. my white-walled station has two chairs and we were sitting together. what is happening? and it seemed normal to the others around? this is weird. totally weird.
I shook my head and closed my eyes. ‘this is just a dream’ i kept repeating to myself. this cannot be happening. my heart is racing fast as I finally looked at you, eye to eye. I passed out.
I woke up with my head on my arms at my station, thankful that it was all a dream. but then I saw an empty chair beside me.
The second night–last night–was more of a romantic nightmare. You were there, sitting across me. There were other people with us and now, their faces are clear and I can hear their voices properly. I wasn’t too focused on you but I was still nervous because you are across me.
I looked around at the people we were with. why are they here? what are we doing here? what are we talking about? why are you smiling and laughing and why are they chit-chatting with me around? I am so confused.
You saw how puzzled I was and you told me it’s all okay. I just nodded while staring at you. ‘this must be one hell of a dream’, I thought. I have no idea what to do or how to control the situation. I have been dreaming a lot lately and I let things happen as they are. But this–this is one of those I want to have full control of. I hate to do something voluntarily as it might ruin the moment of me being in front of you.
Looking for comfort through material things lying around me, I only found myself empty and looking like a fool. I got nothing but this fictional moment I have with you. I know that this is a dream and it isn’t making me feel okay.
It got a bit romantic when you transferred to my side and put your right arm around me. “Hey, calm down. everything’s okay so just calm down,” you whispered. But all I could do was stare at your lazy eyes and look for answers.
I know that this was all a dream because it does not make sense. You sit beside me, whispering, and your heavy arm around my shoulder. I did not want to wake up even if this seems to be a nightmare.
I know I hate to have control but I have to. So I stood up and walked away. I shut my eyes tightly in purpose to hit something and wake up. I bumped into somebody and I open my eyes and there you were standing, confused.