Another episode of an unreasonably odd dream. This, I think, is the second time that first I dream of being close to you, and the next one is with you and other people near us. What the hell is happening?
Everybody is talking about staying overnight in some particular place. I shook my head to indicate that “no, I won’t be joining,” but one of them, someone I highly respect in her field of expertise asked “but why?” so I got curious. “What why? I’m not interested in that stuff, you know it,” I said. But then she pouted and in an almost whisper she said, “but… B is there…”
I was confused. Did I tell her about it? Did I ever mention it to her? Does the whole world know about it? I was so furious that I can feel my cheeks red. I was about to ask her what she means but another man from her team walked by with his loud voice, “let’s go people!” he shouted. He was calling everyone who’s going to the place for an overnight stay.
I just stared at the distance and realized it was pitch black and we were all outside. I was looking for you but thought that you might be your usual self, surrounded by people, particularly women. So I gave up and sulked in my seat on the ground. Oh, there’s a fire in front of me, I just realized it now, we were all surrounding a bonfire, me holding a stick and teasing the fire, and others were talking to each other. And just like before, I am alone, drowning in my thoughts while being aware that all this is a dream.
Someone grabbed me by my right arm. I was not able to react right away as someone led me through the woods. The flickering of the lights from the bonfire showed me that it was you who pulled me away from the crowd. You took me into your arms and closed your eyes. I could not think clearly when I am worried about people knowing about my feelings for someone, so I did not move. My hands were on each my side, my chin resting on your left shoulder as you embraced me tightly. We stayed like that for I don’t know how long. In silence.
I wished the dream to end but somehow I wanted to know why you kept visiting me in my dreams. I was about to ask you, my lips parting, and ready to speak when you spoke first. “Stay with me,” you said and looked at me intently. Again to my surprise, I was not able to say anything. I was only able to nod and you kissed me hard after.
The moment I opened my eyes I was on the ground, I can hear the crickets and the wind passing through. My hair was a mess as always, and the night sky reminded me of a bitter past when the stars were shining too bright for me to love.