I told you how I started this journey to the artists’ world and you know how desperate I was with looking for a mentor I lost.
The Aquitania chapter of my life ended in 2018 with a smile, a simple handshake, and a teary farewell in a cornered street in town. A year after being AWOL from people in the industry, someone told me he was there with the others, having coffee and watching the young ones do their artworks on the street.
My knees got a bit shaky, my heart pounding, nervous and excited at the same time. Is it for real? Is it really him this time? The last time someone told me about an “Aquitania” turned out to be his cousin who had no news about him.
I ran as fast as I could and stop 3 meters away as I catch my breath. I looked for him in the crowd. Will he recognize me? I have grown a lot except for my height. And I was right, he did not recognize me at all.
He was sitting on the edge of a seat, smiling at the other artists. I approached him then and introduced myself. He said that I looked familiar and that my name sounded too familiar. I just smiled.
I was out of breath, tears pooling up in my eyes as I try hard to stop them from falling. There is no use telling him that I was once his student if he cannot remember me. Yes, I understand that his memory might be fuzzy with age but then I just can’t tell him who I really was. I watched him there in silence, ignoring the familiar people around.
When I met him way back when he was old but he looked older now. The lines on his forehead which were once three are now six, and other lines were present around his face. He was wearing a blue polo and dark blue jeans. His hands a little shaky, and you can say that he has reached his age already. Aside from that, he never changed. He was still cheerful, always has a smile on his face. I wasn’t able to talk to him for a long time because I left and told him I still have something to do.
I lied. I did not want him or anybody else to see that I was about to cry. I went back to school to look for a spot where nobody could find me. I went into hiding and cried out on the staircase behind the theater stage.
I was so weak, so broken that I realized how disappointed he’ll be if he found out what happened to me after he disappeared. It was good enough that I went to pursue the arts industry despite my situation, but then I temporarily left it for another reason, again.
The Aquitania Journey ended just like that. Still, I am thankful for the lessons and the things that journey led me to. And now that I am back, I guess we have to let go of everything in the past before we truly start afresh.